1. "Okay, okay! I take it back. Unf@ck you!!!"

2. "Well this day was a total waste of make-up"

3. "Don't bother me; I'm living happily ever after."

4. "This isn't an office. It's HELL with fluorescent lighting"

5. "I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left"

6. "Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose"

7. "Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control"

8. "I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."

9. "Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

10. "Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

11. "I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"

12. "Stress is when you wake up screaming and realize you haven't gone to sleep yet"

13. "Back off!! You're standing in my aura."

14. "Don't worry. I forgot your name too."

15. "I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."

16. "Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

17. "Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"

18. "Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done."

19. "Ambivalent? Well yes and no."

20. "You look like sh!t. Is that the style now?"

21. "Earth is full. Go home."

22. "Aw, did I step on your poor, little bitty ego?"

23. "I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

24. "A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth."

25. "You are depriving some village of an idiot."

26. "If a$$holes could fly, this place would be a freaking airport."

Too funny thanks for the morning laugh Sky

Oh my word! Sky - thank you soooo much! I'm gonna use the one above really soon - I can tell.

I agree BB

I have used one myself!