Texas Ranchers Sell BBQ Direct From The Field
Ranchers in Texas hit with sweltering heat are selling fully cooked barbecue right from the livestock.
"We let the customer choose the cattle and then we hose it down with sauce and send it out into the fields. Within twenty minutes the barbecue is piping hot and ready to eat," said a Texas rancher.
Barbecue restaurants are crying foul over the direct sales of the product to the public.
"This damn heat wave is killing the cattle and our business. We can't compete with the lower overhead of the rancher when we provide our customers with a table, chairs and fan as well as swat flies," said waitress Flo Moore of the "Greasy Fat Dripping Spoon" restaurant in Amarillo.
The heat has also changed business for farmers who are using their former crop fields as giant baking pans for brownies.
"It's the only way I can put my land and this hellish heat to any use so I'm baking white chocolate, espresso brownies with macadamia nuts for those rip-off coffee houses, said a farmer.
It was so hot...
All the corn on the stalks started popping and flying through the air. The cows thought it was snowing. And they froze to death.
It's so hot, I saw squirrels fanning their nuts.
The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
The trees are whistlin' for the dogs.
Satan decided to take the day off.
Even the sun was looking for some shade!
The birds had to pick up the worms with potholders.
I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walkin'..
It's frickin' HOT!!!! And it's too early to be so HOT!!!
GAH! Gonna be 100+ degrees EVERY day this week!!!
Come on you Yankees - blow some cool air my way, will ya? 
