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 Gotta love our Canadian "Newfs" 
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Post Gotta love our Canadian "Newfs"
A Newfoundlander is driving down a road in St. John's .
A sign in front of a restaurant reads:
HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL
Lobster Tail and Beer

'Lord tunderin' jaysus' he says to himself, 'me 3 favourite tings!'

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Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:39 am
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Post Re: Gott alove our "Newfs"
Ermm.. I don't get it :dunno

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Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:02 pm
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Post Re: Gott alove our "Newfs"
Freak -

"Tail" is a euphamism for a lady's, ermmm, behind. :embarressed

Dammit L! YOU should be the one doin' the splainin' :noway

:crylaugh :spit

So the joke is

Lobster,

a lady who has a nice a$$ - is hot and you wanna have sex with her (whew!)

AND a beer. :wavey

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Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:00 pm
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Post Re: Gott alove our "Newfs"
Okay then now I get it!

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Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:14 pm
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Post Re: Gott alove our "Newfs"
I can't explain Newfs Blue they are an inigma :roflmao :slap :crylaugh :spit

Bluebonnet wrote:
Freak -

"Tail" is a euphamism for a lady's, ermmm, behind. :embarressed

Dammit L! YOU should be the one doin' the splainin' :noway

:crylaugh :spit

So the joke is

Lobster,

a lady who has a nice a$$ - is hot and you wanna have sex with her (whew!)

AND a beer. :wavey

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Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:15 pm
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Post Re: Gott alove our "Newfs"
And I thought you were talking about dogs.... ummm.... :roflmao

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Sun Aug 21, 2011 8:15 pm
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Post Re: Gott alove our "Newfs"
Too funny Ruts :roflmao :slap

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Mon Aug 22, 2011 6:13 am
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Post Re: Gott alove our "Newfs"
Who said Newfs are dumb??????????

:crylaugh

Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the street outside a Legion Hall just off the main in Gander NF, CANADA

After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall. The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing. After what seemed an eternity and trying his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car, which he fell into.

He sat there for a few minutes and then threw a hook and line out the window and seemed to be trying to catch a fish.. A number of other patrons paid no attention to this crazy drunk as they left the bar and drove off.

Finally the drunk started the car, switched the wipers on and off (it was a fine, dry summer night) flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn, and switched on the headlights.

He then pulled in the hook and line and moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patron vehicles left. At last, the parking lot was empty; he pulled out of the parking lot and started to drive slowly down the road.

The officer, having patiently waited all this time, now started up the patrol car, put on the flashing lights, and promptly pulled the man over. He performed a breathalyzer test on the gentleman who cooperated fully, and to his amazement the breathalyzer indicated no evidence of the man having consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, 'I'll have to ask you to accompany me to Headquarters.
This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."
"I doubt it," said the truly proud Newfie,
"Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

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Wed Sep 07, 2011 2:00 pm
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Post Re: Gott alove our Canadian "Newfs"
Not exactly about our beloved Newfs I know but Canadian none the less.

Not much of a rap fan personally but this is a good video :clap


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Mon Sep 19, 2011 3:34 pm
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Post Re: Gott alove our Canadian "Newfs"
:roflmao :slap :crylaugh

The newfies have solved their own fuel problems.
They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil.

========================

Me buddy's missus left him last Thursday.
She said she was going out for a pint of milk and never came back!
I asked him how he was coping and he said, "Not bad, I've been using that powdered stuff."

=========================

The police came to my front door last night holding a picture of me wife.
They said, "Is this your wife, sir?"
Shocked, I answered, "Lard Jasus yes by'e, dats her."
They said, "I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
I said, "I know by'e, but she's good to the kids & a tolerable cook."

=========================

Two Newfoundlanders find a mirror in the road.
The first one picks it up and says, "Lard Jasus I knows this face but I can't put a name to it."
The second picks it up and says, "You stupid bastard, it's me!"

=========================

A Newfie's in jail.
The guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging meself," he replies.
"It should be round your neck," says the guard.
"I tried that," the Newfie says, "but I couldn't friggin' breathe."

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Fri Feb 03, 2012 10:16 am
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Post Re: Gotta love our Canadian "Newfs"
Probably a lot of truth in this one.

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at Ottawa house:

One is from Vancouver, another is from Toronto and the third, is from St. John's, NFLD

All three go with a Government official to examine the fence.
The Vancouver contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.
"Well," he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

The Toronto contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.

"The NFLD contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the government official and whispers, "$2,700."

The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys!
How did You come up with such a high figure?" The NFLD contractor whispers back, "$1,000 for me , $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Toronto to fix the fence."

"Done!" replies the government official.

And that, my friends, is how government contracting works everywhere!

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Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:51 am
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Post Re: Gotta love our Canadian "Newfs"
A Scotsman, an Englishman & a Newfie have a couple of drinks in a local pub...

"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, He'll buy the fifth drink."

"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."

"Ahhh, dat's nuttin'," said the Newfie. "Back home in Sin Jahn's, there's the Codfish Bar. The moment you sets foot in the place, they buys you a drink, then anudder. All the drinks you like actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid.
All on de house!"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately shout down the Newfie's claims, but he swears every word is true..

"Well," said the Englishman, still suspicious, "Did this actually happen to you?"

"Not me self, personally, no," admitted the Newf. "But it did happen to me sister quite a few times."

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